The Jefferson Iowa News®

 

  HOW MUCH SHOULD WE PAY FOR GASOLINE?

I'm madder than a bankrupt Arab over the price of gas and how everyone is reacting. If you think gas costs too much, quit using so damned much of it! Isn't that what you'd do with anything else? How about all you people in the fly-over states driving SUVs to work every day for about a five-minute commute? And then driving your kids twelve blocks to soccer practice? Remember when we used to walk or ride bikes?

All you morons out there piss and moan about the problem when the solution is right in front of your face (as usual). Here it is: GAS PRICES ARE NOT HIGH ENOUGH!

We should charge ten bucks a gallon, eleven for premium. Make exceptions for cab drivers, metro transit systems, and low-income folks driving their '78 Honda Civics to their crummy jobs vacuuming the residual cocaine from the seat cushions of numb SUV owners. Maybe some truckers, too.

We would simultaneously solve the gas crisis, our warmongering agenda, pollution issues, road rage, traffic congestion, urban decay, and oil profiteering. How pissed off would you be if you had to pay that much for gas?

And while we're at it, if you have a gas guzzler for a vehicle, set the yearly registration fee somewhere around $5000. Charge $25 for fuel-efficient models. This would be a great shot in the arm for our stagnant railroad industry.

And let's not overlook nuclear power! We need to continue the development of the nuclear-powered car. Ford built working prototypes of this vehicle 50 years ago! It came complete with a pint-sized atomic fission reactor in the trunk.

We once were a country that prided itself in innovation. and we could certainly use a little of that spirit now!



Orville K. Bass, American


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