The Jefferson Iowa News®



I'm madder than hell at the high cost of automobile insurance and at the primary cause of the problem - women drivers!

Doesn't it piss you off when you get behind some bimbo trying to do her makeup in the rear-view mirror? God knows it's probably the only time she uses it! With any luck at all she's on her cell phone, too, probably discussing some soap opera or how cute the pool boy's buns are. What is it with women and phones? Can't they put them down long enough to maneuver a two-ton vehicle barreling down the road (exceeding the speed limit, I'm sure)?

To make matters worse, they don't even know what makes this vehicle go! They just know enough to turn it on and pray. Has anybody thought of telling them all about turn signals? I'll bet they can't even point them out on a stationary car.

Listen to some of these statistics:
Women truckers have a crash rate six times higher than men truckers.
If only men drove, accidents would decrease by 22%, and 330,000 lives would be saved over the next thirty years.
Women pilots have a crash rate four times higher than men pilots.

It has been scientifically proven that an average man, after consuming six drinks, still drives better than the average sober woman!

The main reason men are having traffic accidents is that they are out there surrounded by women!
We obviously need to get them off the streets, or at least give them their own lanes, where they can play bumper cars with each other, and leave us out of it! I urge you all to write your congressmen and demand traffic lanes free of preoccupied, uninformed women drivers.

Don't just think about the welfare of yourself. Think about your sons! Join me in getting a handle on this problem before the next generation is wiped out by dizzy blonds in a hurry to get to the salon or their tennis lessons!

Orville K. Bass, American

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