Lester
Percy, an inventor and entrepreneur from Jefferson, has unveiled his
latest gizmo - a vitamin enriched cigarette that is so healthy that
smoking it will actually add years to your life. Percy claims that all
of the vitamins added to his smoke more than offset any collateral
damage which may be caused by inhaling possible carcinogens and
poisonous substances. His cigarette, currently called simply "cigarette
D", contains 28 essential vitamins and nutrients required by the body.
He states that to achieve the maximum health benefit from them, an
average adult should smoke about 3-4 packs per day. Lester says that
children under twelve can get by on about two packs per day.Mr. Percy is hoping that this latest invention will help defray the costs from some of his previous inventions, which did not pan out as successfully as he had hoped. You may remember his "inflatable dartboard", which lagged in sales, and his highly-touted "pedal-powered wheelchair" (which we featured in a previous story) that never got out of the gate.
Lester currently has patents pending on various other ideas, including reversible carpeting (doubling its life), a battery-powered battery charger, and a flatulence deodorizer. He also states that he would at some point like to perfect a time machine that would enable its users to travel back in time 3-5 years, enabling them to buy cars from that era.
Rick Bland, 01-03-2011