When
local residents decided to create a "live" nativity scene on the square
downtown, it seemed like a great idea. In retrospect, however, maybe
not. The Braxton family supplied the entire cast this year, right down
to the baby Jesus. What could possibly go wrong?Well, everything went fine until Joe, the oldest brother, returned from a lunch break intoxicated, and insulted his sister. The sister was playing the Virgin Mary, and the brothers the three wise men. Apparently Joe made a remark bout the conception being not quite "immaculate". "A donkey is not the only thing that Mary rides," he stated, in somewhat slurred speech. The man playing Joseph (in real life the woman's husband), pulled the guiding star off the wall and smashed it over Joe's head. Suddenly, the scene was nothing but flying gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Horrified onlookers scrambled for cover as the police arrived on the scene. According to police, violent is how most of the Braxton family get-togethers end. Mrs. Braxton, the group's mother, stated that they all take after their father, who is such a jerk that she shot him last week, right after he had been released from prison. "You can bet these little bastards won't be getting anything from me this Christmas," she said as she spit tobacco juice in their general direction.
One organizer stated that this was almost as bad as last year, when the baby Jesus turned out to have Down Syndrome. The Virgin Mary was so upset that she actually feinted, knocking over the manger and killing a nearby wheelchair-bound elderly lady. Promoters say that this is the last live nativity that they will ever do.
Spencer Straight, 12-16-2011