Upset
over recent statements made by aging rocker Ted Nugent, local Jefferson
resident Bigfoot has decided the time has come for action. Ted recently
was arrested for bagging a deer out season. When questioned about the
arrest, Mr. Nugent replied, "That's maybe the dumbest idea I've ever
heard. Animal rights. Talk about an oxymoron. The only right animals
have that I recognize is their right to be killed
and eaten by me." Animal rights groups around the country were outraged.But none perhaps as much as Bigfoot. He was also outraged that Nugent uses a type of deer bait called "C'mere Deer". "I've got my own catchy slogan, too," states Bigfoot. "It's 'Dead Ted'." Bigfoot is not planning on using any bait, however. His plan is to simply hunt him down down and rip him to shreds.
Bigfoot is currently boning up on his archery skills (see photo). "Bow season for Ted starts tomorrow morning when I get up. If I don't find him, we'll have a two or three month black powder season. I have my muzzle loader ready." Not willing to leave anything to chance, Bigfoot states that if necessary, a rifle season will be added.
Submitted by Spencer Straight (02-28-11)