The Jefferson Iowa News®


  October Greene County Parks Report Issued

The Greene County Park Commission, in conjunction with the Department of Natural Resources, has made its fall report available to all potential park users. We have condensed this report and are happy to pass it along here to our readers.

Squirrel Hollow (also known as Camp Blood)
a) Shelter house closed due to damage done by Satanic rituals last weekend. Mostly dried blood and burn marks on concrete.
b) Killer beast known as "Six Toes" has been actively rampaging area on most nights. Eight campers still missing (presumed dead) since Tuesday night rampage.
c) Plenty of available camping sites as of Friday AM!

Seven Hills (also known as Camp Blood)
a) Closed due to annual ritualistic killings, no date set yet for reopening.
b) Sled run in great condition for first snow ... think snow everyone!

Hyde Park (also known as Camp Blood)
a) Camping area closed due to several campers' complaints of undead causing disturbances at night.
b) Still open for picnics... enjoy the fall foliage!

Spring Lake (also known as Camp Blood)
a) It's fall, so one word describes this park -- vampires!
b) Drive through the park and enjoy the beauty of Spring Lake, but please remember to stay inside your car with the doors locked and the windows shut.
c) Due to fire risk, no open campfires at this time.

Submitted by Spencer Straight (10-05-08)