The Jefferson Iowa News®


  Famous People and the Reasons They Rejected Living in Jefferson

George Washington - "Named the town after Thomas Jefferson, so screw them."

Ed Gein - "The people there were just too creepy."

Abraham Lincoln - "What? The town was named after Thomas Jefferson? Screw them."

Andrew Johnson - "Huh? Is that right? We're out of here, Abe."

Keith Richards - "There were just too many illegal drugs in that town. It made me feel dirty just flying over."

Warren Buffet - "I was told by a guy at the country club that "this course is for members only ... so just get back in your Ford Fiesta and peddle out of here." He seemed put out that he had to put up with "poor people".

William "Refrigerator" Perry -  "I just can't stand being around all those fat people."

George Wallace - "Not enough racial diversity."

Berrizagg Blizmaraak - "Sales to the carbon-based units had dried up. Locals were not meeting the minimum standards of intelligence required for the completion of our mission."

submitted by Rick Bland, city editor