Jefferson
resident Marv Plover has concluded three and a half years of painstaking
research concerning the modern telephone, and ways to make it more
consumer-friendly. After compiling a list of consumers' most
frequently-voiced complaints, he set out to adapt today's telephone in
ways that would eliminate these issues. His research was conducted over
the phone with Greene County area residents, all of whom stated that
they either owned a phone or had used one in the previous twelve months.According to Plover's research, it seems that elderly phone users (who made up the vast majority of the test group) complained about the buttons being to small. The next most frequently-cited complaint was that it was too easy to misdial, which Plover concluded was a result of the buttons being placed to closely together. Third on the list of most common complaints was that the audible tones emitted by using the buttons were not loud enough to hear.
Mr. Plover addressed all of these issues by creating a phone which has eliminated the need for buttons all together. He calls his new creation a "rotary phone". He has replaced the buttons with a dial in which ten finger holes have been drilled. Each hole corresponds to specific numbers or letters. To "dial" a number, the user places his finger in the appropriate hole, after which a spring mechanism causes the dial to return to its original position. As the dial returns, electrical contacts wired through the mechanism open and close the number of times indicated by the selected hole.
In early tests, most Jefferson residents have expressed extreme satisfaction with the new device. We are hearing many of these people already inquiring as to how soon they may be able to order one of these new gadgets.
Spencer Straight, city desk