The Jefferson Iowa News®


  Royal Jewelers Exposed As Complete Fraud

Royal Jewelers in Jefferson has been exposed as a total fraud! Our reporters went deep under cover to monitor the deceptive practices this local business has been operating under for many years. recently staked out this Jefferson jewelry store, in an effort to discover if they were, indeed, a "royal" jeweler. Our results were quite conclusive. We found absolutely NO royalty going into or leaving the store over a seventeen-day period. Not even a baron!

We fully expected to find "royalty" as this is indicated by the name of the establishment. On the off-chance that we may have missed possible royal customers, we contacted Prince Charles in an effort to insure that our observations were correct.

Prince Charles was directly quoted as answering our inquiry by stating, "Royal Jewelers in Jefferson, Iowa? I've never even heard of them! Where is Jefferson? Where is Iowa?"

It seems like a more accurate name for this establishment would be something along the lines of "Freeking Anyone Who Wants to Walk In" Jewelers. At least there would be no deception there.

As is our normal practice, we attempted to give the local merchants the benefit of the doubt, guessing that possibly their name referred to merchandise within the store, and not their clientele. Perhaps somewhere, within these walls, crown jewels were stored. When our investigative team asked to see the crown jewels, they were shown a series of friendship rings and several large cubic zirconium earrings.

Locals should not be drawn in by this type of deceptive advertising. We at intend to uncover all similar misleading claims in the Jefferson area.

Next store to be investigated --- Ben Franklin's.

 Rick Bland, 07-28-2008