The Jefferson Iowa News®


  Greene County Sheriff Discusses Jefferson's Paranormal Image

By Tar Tarkus –

Bob "Skeeter" Watson has been the Sheriff of Greene County for the past nine years and was kind enough to sit down with me recently to talk about various "paranormal" and unusual occurrences in and around the Jefferson area under his watch.

JIN - Jefferson is perceived as having a growing reputation as a site for unexplained abnormal phenomena. Is this reputation deserved?
Skeeter - That's all bunk. There is absolutely no basis behind those views whatsoever.
JIN - Weren't there unusual problems at the Sierra Theater recently?
Skeeter - Very few. I can only think of that time that a huge, blob-like creature took over the theater last summer for a few weeks. Nothing special.
JIN - What did this creature look like?
Skeeter - A huge blob.
JIN - Anything else?
Skeeter - There were those floating brains that could telepathically control human behavior.
JIN - Say again?
Skeeter - Yeah, it seems that last April a couple dozen or so floating brains came to town and took people over. Kind of an uncommon occurrence.
JIN - That sounds absolutely mind-boggling. What did you do?
Skeeter - They left and moved to Carroll after a while.
JIN - We reported last fall on the appearance of crop circles in rural Greene County. Has their origin been determined?
Skeeter - Once again, you have folks making a mountain out of a mole hill. There were only 14 of those circles, and they were all plowed under.
JIN - We have heard of four separate instances of alien abductions taking place in Greene County in March alone. Isn't this cause for alarm?
Skeeter - Absolutely not. You see, I get paid to look at the big picture. That number is down from nine abductions in February, and eleven in January. Last August we had thirty-three. So you see, this appears to be tapering off somewhat on its own.
JIN - Last Halloween, vampires were reported in at least three area parks. Are you concerned about that?
Skeeter - Not really. Once again, there were actually only four documented reports of vampire attacks, and only two reports of actual werewolf maulings. Not exactly a plethora.
JIN - What would you say was the most unusual out-of-the-ordinary situation you have faced in your nine years of duty?
Skeeter - There was that rip in the fabric of time out by McMahon Access. That actually may still be there, come to think of it.
JIN - I'm sure that Greene County residents feel much more secure with you and your staff on duty. Thank you, Skeeter.
Skeeter - My pleasure.

Tars Tarkus