A
recent confession at the local Catholic Church has become public and
resulted in the discovery of a secret society operating within
Jefferson, but affecting the lives of millions worldwide. This
previously undetected group known only as "The Octagon" has been meeting
at the local Elks Club and appears to have global implications. The
leader of this organization, referred to as "Mr. X", has been a citizen
of Jefferson for most of the past 40+ years, and is now suspected of
having powers far beyond the average citizen.He has been tied to such organizations as the International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and the Secret Service. Jefferson Iowa News has tried to contact him for verification of this story, but was told that he is currently in Russia teaching ballet. In fact, it is most unlikely that this story was uncovered at all . Recently, Mr. X has apparently been getting a bit sloppy, and has let his guard down - not only during his confessional. For instance, he recently left his jet pack at the Uptown Cafe after lunch.
More suspicious behavior on his part was observed last Friday when he dropped his Maserati off at Ott's Radiator Service for a tune-up and Don noticed stinger missiles in the trunk.
After Ott contacted Jefferson Iowa News, we had a tail placed on him and the rest of the story was exposed. The Octagon appears to operate at the highest levels of world security, higher even than the federal government. We have indications that they are responsible for global warming, tsunamis, and the eruption of Mount St. Helens, for example. In fact, we have discovered that they actually own the continent of Antarctica and have been down there melting the ice cap.
They also have developed what they refer to as "the death ray". This giant device, although sounding evil, is meant for many purposes. One anonymous source stated, "The Octagon is not inherently good or evil - it all depends on how it is being used - like the death ray, for example."
Deb Hoover, 02-14-2012