Jefferson
Iowa News has been informed that recent visitors to Dana have been
stymied in their efforts to locate the town. Dana, population 84, was
located in eastern Greene County at approximately 42 degrees, 6'24"N by
94 degrees, 14'25"W. It had a total area of 0.3 square miles. When our
reporter reached that area last Tuesday, all he found were cornfields as
far as the eye could see.Wiltsie Barnfinch, mayor of Dana, discovered the problem upon returning home from an extended stay in Arizona. "I can't believe it!" he stated. "The town has been plowed under and planted in corn. Son-of-a-b***h! I know this is Elmer Hagman's doing. He's had his eye on this land for as long as I can remember. This has all the signs of his handy work! Son-of-a-b***h!"
Farmers in the area seemed less concerned. "I don't think we should go around pointing fingers," said one nearby landowner. "What's done is done." The crop does appear to be coming in nicely, and looks like a very good yield should be expected. Our analysts have determined that the total losses from the destruction of Dana, when offset by the corn crop value, amount to a net gain of around $4,000.
None of the city's 84 supposed residents could be located for comment. With very few reasons existing for out-of-towners to visit Dana, it is hard telling how long this situation might have existed before being reported, without Barnfinch's keen eye.
Rick Bland, contributor