The Jefferson Iowa News®

 

  THE MUCH-ANTICIPATED HALLOWEEN COLUMN

I'm really boiling up mad now, and my anger is directed at the editors of this web site! It seems they are insisting that I get with the program and write a column devoted to Halloween! Are you kidding me?!

With all the important issues facing us today and all of the liberal and lilly-livered morons voicing their inane opinions, why would I waste my limited space writing about some holiday that nobody gives a crap about?! We seem on the brink of electing a completely inexperienced guy to be our president, the stock market and housing markets are crashing, unemployment is up, and there is a virtual credit freeze! I can't afford to take time off to wax about what a neat holiday Halloween is or how many trick-or-treaters you will have!

The editors of this site must be completely out-of-touch with the world we live in! What's the deal? Are they making so much money on this web site that they no longer care about issues facing us true Americans? Who is Rick Bland anyway? He would never be able to write this column! He is not a true American who needs this space to let his opinions be known!

And what about Tars Tarkus? He is obviously some latte-drinking, Miata-driving, west coast liberal who doesn't give a crap about Jefferson! He's probably a vegetarian! In fact they are probably both fags!

This web site would be absolutely nothing without yours truly, Orville K. Bass, American! I was here at the inception of this site and I think I know best what my readers want to hear! Halloween my ass!

Send your support by way of responses to this article! Let these losers know that Orville will write about whatever he wants! He will absolutely not have his hands tied by the editors or anybody else! If I wanted to write just what I was told, I would go and write for Rick Morain!


Click here to visit the entire Bass Archives


Orville K. Bass, American


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