The Jefferson Iowa News®

 

  IOWA'S WEATHER IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE!

I'm madder than the captain of the Jamaican bobsled team sitting here again tonight running my furnace full-blast in a futile attempt to create normal living conditions within my home! Christ! How much more of this global warming are we Iowans going to put up with before we move to a more suitable, comfortable climate?

Once again we are buffeted with various winter difficulties on a daily basis! One day, it is ice storms, then snow storms, then a series of sub-zero temperatures! I could literally blow the snow off my driveway several times a day! Instead I opt for a four-wheel drive vehicle and merely drive through it.

All of you folks who claim to live here because you supposedly enjoy the "four seasons" are completely full of crap! What you really enjoy is the summer, a few fall days when the leaves change, and maybe a snowfall at Christmas. Nobody in their right mind enjoys being snowed in, unable to get to work, with a car that doesn't want to start!

This summer was really special, too. Tremendous heat waves were accompanied by large amounts of rainfall that successfully flooded out most of our planned summer activities. We sat inside instead, running the air conditioner trying to attain a normal environment!

Think about how much money you spend every year trying to maintain the temperature already available in Portland, Oregon! How about if we just move there? Why do you think everyone moves south just as quickly as they can afford it?

There is nobody with an IQ over 75 that can state honestly that they prefer this weather! Snow is incredibly overrated as a commodity. All you do with snow is spend time and money moving it out of your way! It's not like we are in Aspen and the snow is a fundamental aspect of our economy! People who have never seen winter before don't know how lucky they are!

I've absolutely had it! Next year I'll be writing this column from someplace where I can step outside without fear of dying due to inclement weather!


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Orville K. Bass, American


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