The Jefferson Iowa News®



I'm madder than all get out at all the loony left-wing know-nothings calling the latest BP oil spill a massive global environmental disaster! We're talking about oil, for crying out loud! It's not like this is some man-made toxic waste! Oil occurs naturally on the planet earth. It is a natural substance - it doesn't harm the earth at all! Oh yeah, it'll wreak havoc with some man-made stuff, like shrimp farms, tourism, and children. Maybe even kill off a species or two. But the earth will recover just fine!

All this oil will just end up back on the bottom of the ocean. And since we don't even know what lives down there for sure anyway, why get your garters all tangled up about them? Every year, starfish kill off hundreds of thousands of square feet of coral reefs naturally. You don't hear anybody talking about knocking off the starfish, do you? When the oil reaches the shore, just clean it up! Put some people to work!

I for one don't worry one iota about oil being spilled. Drive around town and notice all those old cars spilling it out! Take a look at your driveway! When I change the oil in my car, I proudly dump the old oil down the nearest storm sewer. That's right - I'm just putting it back in the ground where it came from!

You namby-pamby scaredy cats need to stop your whining and tell BP how to fix it if you're so worried about it! Otherwise just forget about it and let the planet earth sort it out like it always does!

Take the quiz below only if you really have a grasp of the size of this spill! 

Link - I'll prove I know exactly how big this oil spill is!

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Orville K. Bass, American

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