The Jefferson Iowa News®

 

  HOW CAN RAP ACTUALLY BE CALLED MUSIC?

I'm madder than Vincent Van Gogh at a Bluetooth convention when I'm forced to hear all that loud rap music coming from nearby cars!!! Why do you have to play it at full volume? That is not music at all - in fact, it's like listening to a jackhammer! What is this crap? No instruments, monotonous bass, nursery rhyme melodies. People listen to this? I wouldn't listen to Snoop Dogg if he gave me a free concert in my own house - come to think of it, I wouldn't allow him in my house!

Look, I am a fair guy. It's just that I don't like rap music - but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like rap music, denigrate means "put down". Somebody told me that rap is better than it sounds. What the hell does that mean?? Rap is like playing Scrabble with all the vowels missing! It's not music - it's a disease! I listened to Ja Rule once and I can tell you that if he wasn't a musician he'd be a serial killer!

I may not be a first-rate expert on this, but I'm a first-class second-rate expert! These guys should be listening to somebody who can carry a tune. Like Bob Dylan - even though he sounds like Yogi Bear! Rap is simply NOT music! The people who record it can't sing - they talk! Guess what? This is not a talent - everyone can talk!! Name me one rapper that can carry a tune in a normal song and have him sing it for me!

Rap music is everywhere - but so is AIDS! Follow the link below and find out if you, too are a hip hop moron!

Link - I Know All About That Hip Hop Crap

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here to visit the entire Bass Archives

Orville K. Bass, American


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